This Dayley's Life

Dear Younger Self, I love the honesty in your questions so much! I can definitely relate to your questions about sacrificing too much. I know what it feels like to have others demean or belittle the role of homemaker and mom. Those seem like negative or lesser things to the world these days. I'm sure you've questioned, as I have, how you're supposed to live your full potential in a house with kids and messes and playing the role of Mrs. Smiles at church on Sunday, when all you get to do is walk the halls when you're dying for some spiritual meat. And adults to talk to...and...and... I will tell you that all of this is worth it. Because it's God's work. His greatest achievement is our eternal life and joy, and at the end of life, people don't remember their job as being their greatest joy. They could care less about awards, money, people's praise or respect. They think most fondly of their relationships with God and their families. If I think about a...

Dear Younger Self,  Your best friend needs you. You look up and sigh a huge, defeated sigh, but your shoulders feel heavier. You are feeling guilty because you let your mind wonder how you can give so much of yourself to this person even if he’s currently in a place where he cannot give back. “He won’t give back, even when he can”, you think to yourself. Guilt. Frustration. Stresssss…. I must stop you here and ask, Who is Dan to you? Is he, as a person, a friend to you? Do his worries cross your mind? Do you know what is currently happening in his day to day that causes him stress? Do you look for something under or around his unkind or snide comments that could be fueling his frustrations? Might they have absolutely nothing to do with you?  Do you think of him throughout the day in positive ways, or are you focusing on the one hurtful exchange from two days ago and replaying it over and over in your mind? You are giving power to your thoughts either way, so make sure t...

Dear Younger Self,  You are so patient. You are up all night with a sick baby and up all day with an older toddler’s futile attempt to gain the last drop of your bone dry coffers of energy. This makes you feel guilt. You chased that same toddler down the street and simultaneously waved goodbye to a bus that carried your older, yet tiny human away and wonder if the big kids on the bus will be nice today. You can’t control it. This makes you worry. You’re realizing that you can’t control much of anything right now and it makes you question your decisions to jump into marriage and kids and a life where jobs aren’t just checked off of a list in a tidy office space.  You keep reminding yourself that marriage and family life is the most worthy cause given to humans. You ponder and take seriously your covenants. The reminders come unexpectedly at times. Close calls, the calm after big fights, brought on by lack of sleep and financial burden, long days and nights, comments fr...

Dear Younger Self,  When your closest friend comes to you and tells you that she is gay and that she cannot keep her temple covenants, don’t assume that she isn’t still worthy of God’s love. When she tries to give you her scriptures and garments, saying they aren’t part of her life moving forward, don’t assume all is lost and that she is rushing head first into spiritual outer darkness. Don’t encourage her to go out and have a gay relationship, obviously…but don’t estrange her from your life. Do the best you can to love unconditionally. Let her know that you love her every chance you get. You could be the only lifeline she still maintains with the Savior for a very long while. Help her remember who He is by how you act and speak to her. Be full of love and understanding. She will come to a crossroads in her life and decide to turn to the Lord…trust me! I know! Trust in God. If you can be secure in anything, be secure in God’s love and grace toward each one of us. That is wha...