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This Dayley's Life

This blog is about family, and the meaning I give to family life. No one's family will be just like mine and I understand that I cannot speak to all families' situations. But if my family life can relate to even one other family or person, I think that would be pretty great.

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- September 27, 2019

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sex in marriage

- November 30, 2019

Dear Younger Self, I've been contemplating the sexual intimacy journey in my marriage and have come to learn that I'm definitely not the only one to struggle with feelings of purity and carnal desires. How do you reconcile it? What separates the two in marriage? Selflessness. When we are in a sexual relationship for the physical only, we are only taking and giving nothing in return. I read a comment recently that beautifully describes the key, I think, to turning the sexual marriage experience into a sacred and pure one. The author said, "We tend to do for others what would make us happy if someone would do the same for us. And afterward we wonder why the other person isn’t happy. One great key to success in marriage is to find out what would make our spouse happy and then to find joy in providing that happiness."(Barlow, 1986) This is a wonderful description of how we can see the differences in our spouse more positively and having more to do with them, and ...

Charity

- November 22, 2019

Dear Younger Self, I have hit my knees to the floor praying for more years than I care to admit, asking God to fix my husband, change his heart, make him understand...but I have come to know because of God's gentle and patient way, that I am the one who must change. My heart is the one that needs softening. And I needed to better understand. I am so humbled in this moment, thinking about how I demanded so much of my spouse, but don't remember what he might have needed from me. I don't recall a lot of his problems or worries, only my own. Through those exhausting child bearing and rearing years, I remember vividly how difficult it was...for me. I now realize that I must take more of my burdens and my complaints to the Lord to be burned up, not just on my husbands shoulders to burden him further. I needed more faith in my Savior. I needed to give up my "beasts of burden" to the altar...give them to God. I can't remember a single specific reason w...

Healing Power

- November 09, 2019

Dear Younger Self, I'm happy to report that ALL the problems you encounter in this mortal existence have a real, true eternal purpose. Your's and your husband's sacrifices and growth need your faith! There are things you will experience that you cannot understand or work through immediately, and maybe even during your lifetime. But your trust in God and his ability to heal your marriage and your individual struggles can carry you through the roughest times. I know that professional counseling and learning how to be a better communicator are important, but there will be times when those things don't bring the peace you are hoping for. It is only in humble faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ that you will be able to feel the healing power that your marriage will always need. All else will fall short. All else will bring you to the edge of your emotional threshold and despair will try to suffocate you. Simply believe. Believe that your Savior has accounted f...