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This Dayley's Life

This blog is about family, and the meaning I give to family life. No one's family will be just like mine and I understand that I cannot speak to all families' situations. But if my family life can relate to even one other family or person, I think that would be pretty great.

"We are all just walking each other home" -Ram Dass

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- September 16, 2019

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Healthy Boundaries with Children

- April 01, 2022

I have often found myself drawn to videos on social media of men and women playfully ranting about some aspect of the difficulties of parenting. Honestly, who doesn’t love a witty, messy bun wearing, exhausted mom, telling us “How it is”? This fresh and funny perspective is relatable, and the sentiment can be quite literally relieving because of how phenomenally complex and challenging the realities of raising children are. I mean, if we MUST go through the daily rigors of parent life, we might as well find the humor in it, right? Although we pay homage to this type of parental comic relief with our likes and subscribes, we may be left feeling like the short clips of validation only carry us so far in terms of how we actually handle our own, very private difficult parenting situations. One element of frustration in child rearing that stands out to me is setting and keeping healthy boundaries. Boundaries with children are sup...

sex in marriage

- November 30, 2019

Dear Younger Self, I've been contemplating the sexual intimacy journey in my marriage and have come to learn that I'm definitely not the only one to struggle with feelings of purity and carnal desires. How do you reconcile it? What separates the two in marriage? Selflessness. When we are in a sexual relationship for the physical only, we are only taking and giving nothing in return. I read a comment recently that beautifully describes the key, I think, to turning the sexual marriage experience into a sacred and pure one. The author said, "We tend to do for others what would make us happy if someone would do the same for us. And afterward we wonder why the other person isn’t happy. One great key to success in marriage is to find out what would make our spouse happy and then to find joy in providing that happiness."(Barlow, 1986) This is a wonderful description of how we can see the differences in our spouse more positively and having more to do with them, and ...

Married to My Friend

- October 16, 2019

Dear Younger Self, Your best friend needs you. You look up and sigh a huge, defeated sigh, but your shoulders feel heavier. You are feeling guilty because you let your mind wonder how you can give so much of yourself to this person even if he’s currently in a place where he cannot give back. “He won’t give back, even when he can”, you think to yourself. Guilt. Frustration. Stresssss…. I must stop you here and ask, Who is Dan to you? Is he, as a person, a friend to you? Do his worries cross your mind? Do you know what is currently happening in his day to day that causes him stress? Do you look for something under or around his unkind or snide comments that could be fueling his frustrations? Might they have absolutely nothing to do with you? Do you think of him throughout the day in positive ways, or are you focusing on the one hurtful exchange from two days ago and replaying it over and over in your mind? You are giving power to your thoughts either way, so make sure t...